I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
