the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
