Duck Duck Cougar?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
