I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i wish my penis had a tongue
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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