Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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