wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
