These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize