Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Every concussion has its silver lining
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
