just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
