So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
