Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
