Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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