i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
