Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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