ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize