Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
