Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
