i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
me + whiskey = a bad person
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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