shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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