she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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