Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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