piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
