I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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