Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize