I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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