For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
