Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
