i think my tv is drunk
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
