The maid of honor just puked.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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