Sry I called you an 8
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
