guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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