if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
