I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
