am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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