I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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