i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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