pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
