He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
