How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A+ Viking dick
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