thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
