remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
