how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
