He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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