she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
