Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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