This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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