Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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