that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
