Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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