Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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