I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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