Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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