I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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