Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
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I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
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If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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