I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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