so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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