if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i dont even know how to be here
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
