A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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