on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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