I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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