I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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