You made me cry and you don't even care
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
