I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
