try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
