Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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