Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
