Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
